Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Nice My Favorite Calls Me Mom Funny Mothers Day Gift Shirt person responsible for not only putting the Onion out of business but thoroughly destroying any reputations the writers earned for imaginative prose. The best part of that one was that it wasn’t off-the-cuff, it was pre-recorded. So that was the best, most coherent take. He said that on purpose and published it. This is where the USA has fallen. Big fall. Really big. I mean… I mean if I was talking about things… things that fall, this is one of the biggest ever. Really big fall. They tell me all the… all the time.
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This is a big fall, you know? One of the biggest. I knew this guy, he knows about falls. I don’t know. He knows. He tells me this is a Nice My Favorite Calls Me Mom Funny Mothers Day Gift Shirt big fall. I don’t know. But they tell me it’s big. And I… I know about falls… nobody knows more about falls, you know? But this guy, he knows about falls. But I don’t know. At this point, his supporters know he’s not the smartest and not the best speaker. But they support him owning the libs, hurting brown people, and every other GOP policy he’s enacted. Many people have moved to “I don’t like him, but I like what he’s doing”.
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”I have broken more Elton John records. He seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the Nice My Favorite Calls Me Mom Funny Mothers Day Gift Shirt way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look, I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room.
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