It sounds like they were REALLY coping poorly with their Jesus Take The Wheel Please Cause I Can’t Do This Alone Truck Sunflower Shirt grief. This is 100% understandable, especially when it’s fresh, but it’s still no excuse to take it out on a teenage girl who watched “the rock of her family” die. Still, 23 years later that eats at me. You’re NTA op and please don’t let it bother you anymore. My mother on the other hand kept repeating “I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine!” And then would get angry with people for mundane things. She was never able to process her emotions and she didn’t know how to grieve.
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This, exactly. Seems like your family members just weren’t able to Jesus Take The Wheel Please Cause I Can’t Do This Alone Truck Sunflower Shirt understand at the time that you were grieving in your way and that it was a (perfectly normal, by the way) loving act to put her favorite flower in her hands. A lot of people in grief also get angry at stuff that wouldn’t normally bother them, either as a way of distracting themselves or because they can’t acknowledge the grief itself unless it’s wearing a mask. OP, you said all this happened ten years ago. Has your family talked about it since then? It’s possible that if you had a conversation with your mom about this now she’d be able to see that you didn’t do anything wrong. But even if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, you are NTA.