I didn’t know these were celebrities until they got to James Marsden, and I still had to Google, “X-men cyclops actor” to remember his name. You know, a I Was Social Distancing Before It Was Cool Corona Shirt that came out 20 years ago is what I remember him from. I only know him because this virus has me watching back through S1 of West World again. I tried to jump back in after not watching it for a couple of years, had no idea wtf was happening. (Prob. still won’t after this, but oh well).
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Oh, cool. Did they also donate a shitload of toilet paper to the needy? No? Then fuck them. Fuck these people. Fuck ellen, fuck Oprah, fuck them all. They do basically nothing and get fat stacks on top of I Was Social Distancing Before It Was Cool Corona Shirt. Fuck that, take it from them. That’s the joke. The listicle is just pictures of celebrities in gaint homes and captions like, oh it must suck to be stuck at home when you have an indoor basketball court and movie theater. Or boohoo, your bathroom is the size of my apartment.
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And a large pool. That’s one of those big luxury things that would make an I Was Social Distancing Before It Was Cool Corona Shirt. Not living in town, swimming in a pool was something that happened rarely if we went on a vacation and the hotel had one, and it was the best time, even just sitting in the water and floating not doing a thing. Cupcakes. These aren’t the baked goods your Momma use to make.