My family poops big. It’s genetic, maybe it’s our diet, everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won’t flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the A Woman Cannot Survive On Wine Alone She Also Needs Toilet Paper Shirt gives it a spin as it mocks you. Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room.
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Only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out “hey, can you get me the poop knife”? I thought it was A Woman Cannot Survive On Wine Alone She Also Needs Toilet Paper Shirt. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It’s been a day or two between poops and I’m over at my friend’s house. My friend was the local dealer and always had ‘guests’ over, you can’t buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd.
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I look down and see that it’s a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. “My what?” Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. “Wtf is a poop knife?” Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more A Woman Cannot Survive On Wine Alone She Also Needs Toilet Paper Shirt. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.
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